Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I see through liars

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I understand how hurricane paths work

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Can the existence of past lives be proven without the use of hypnosis or a pendulum to inquire about previous incarnations?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What is the best phrase that sums up Tim Burton's Netflix Wednesday series cast? What is your unedited opinion about it?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I can read

Why don't people like Nickelback?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have a reading level above third grade

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What is the most sentimental item you inherited from someone dear to you and what does it mean to you?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What do you think about Vivian Jenna Wilson's decision to speak out against her father, Elon Musk, in a public interview with NBC News?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Do you ever feel like you are doing good, but would do better if people hadn’t blamed you or even bothered you? I have gotten lonely, but I always am up to something (creating my destiny).

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What are the primary causes of the persistent smog crisis affecting Delhi and other parts of North India?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Is anyone up to have a little conversation?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why are Trump supporters so incredibly stupid?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can count

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I actually pay taxes

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter